Monday, June 14, 2010

Don't pretend...


After a terribly difficult week, crying so hard in the middle of my kitchen that I thought I never be the same, sheet rock dust mixed with tears, a little bit of bruising and divine intervention in the form of a four day trip to San Francisco, all I have to say is this:


Take my hand, I know it doesn't seem enough for me to feel it
Understand
That I will never be the one who
Traps us in, I know it doesn't seem enough for us to keep it
Seize the day
When I will always be the one who...
Takes you for a ride and then decides
That it's not right to keep on like this
I will dismiss all the thoughts and feelings
That consume me
From the very start I saw the art
In painting everybody else to be
The savior of the world
You're my saving grace
You're my saving grace
Take my hand
And know that every second is forever
Don't pretend
That I would ever be the one who
Loses faith
In knowing that we'll always be together
Check my pulse
Cause I will always be the one who...
Takes you for a ride and then decides
That it's not right to keep on like this
I will dismiss all the thoughts and feelings
That consume me
From the very start I saw the art
In painting everbody else to be
The savior of the world
You're my saving grace
Stay with me late into this night
Lay with me, and I promise to make you feel...
You're my saving grace

And I'm not gonna lose you




Seriously, that's how I feel.  Lost and conflicted and angry and sad...and yet, pretty content...like I know: somehow, someday down the line, he'll get it.  I just pray that that day comes sooner than later.

Thanks, Crash Kings for making things a little bit better...


j

8 comments:

Dustin and Kelsey said...

oh no jonelle! i am sooo out of the loop! i hope everything is ok! let me know if there is anything i can do to help!!

Des said...

Do you need an Abbie hug? I can bring her over any time you know. Hope things get better for you. :)

jonnajonna said...

Kels, the talk went from "I can't get married right now" to "I'm engaged..." to someone else in less than a month. Needless to say, I was BEYOND surprised and more than a little pissed.

I haven't talked with him yet, but I SERIOUSLY want to go all Grey's Anatomy on him: "Choose me..."

Des, YES PLEASE!!! I miss my Abbie so much! :) I'm feeling a bit better...but still lost. I was CERTAIN (by more than one confirmation) that he was it...


...and if you decide to read this, WP, I'm serious.

Des said...

Jonelle- I am so sorry. I will have to share with you a little experience my sister just had that sounds very similar. Not fun at all. Next time we drive by your house I will stop and see if you are home, or maybe we could meet at Subway one of these days. Abbie would love that... :)

Dustin and Kelsey said...

are you kidding me?!! jonelle i am soooo sorry! what an idiot! if you need anything let me know!!!

lifeinredshoes said...

Belgian Bastard!

niceartlife said...

Take care of yourself, I whish you strenght right now. Hope things will get better and more positive for you.

jonnajonna said...

Des, that would be great! I would love that! :)

Thanks so much for the kind words, everyone. I helps a lot to know that I have peeps out there that (really) loves me!

Much love to all of you!

***Oh, and by the way-had things actually worked out the way I had planned, I would actually be in Amsterdam right now. Probably on my way to Apeldoorn to see him...