Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I'm livin' in 'Lucid Dreams'

(Yes, Steph, you may read two meanings into that one... ;))

First off, if anyone was wondering...I am the proud (and fulfilled) owner of a copy of Quantum of Solace. Second, Barnes and Noble came through-Grave Goods was waiting on my front porch when I got home from work. Bliss...

So as tonight rolled forward and The Meeting (and how I acted afterward) fell further away, I began to be more and more aware of my "escape mechanisms". First on the list?


After a particular loud and difficult day for me, I hit my breaking point when I stepped on the wet dog spit puddle on the floor, found myself in the middle of an argument and had too many dishes in the sink. What did I do? I ran for the iPod (which is STILL on) and turned on Franz Ferdinand as loud as I could stand it.

Music IS my escape when I don't feel like dealing with the present. It's what i turn to when I'm "DONE". It's what I yearn to create. It's what wakes me up and puts me to sleep. There's ALWAYS a song running through my head and coming out in the fidget of my legs and feet.

I live music, breathe music and bleed music.

I guess it's good that I'm aware of this-I know from my Training that I shouldn't allow myself to be so dependant on one thing and that I certainly shouldn't use it as an escape. I SHOULD deal, feel and be present.

It's just at this moment, I really don't want to. I'm happy in my oblivion,

my lucid dream.

A *PORTION* of my glorious music collection

*books, sheet music and vinyl*

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