Sunday, March 22, 2009

Isn't that what you came for?

WHY?

Why is it that HE shows up on the day that you don't feeling like washing your hair? When you don't think it will matter when you roll out of bed and put the clothes on that you wore yesterday... Why does he show up after being gone for two years? WHY is it that the meeting takes place on YOUR turf, YOUR sanctuary, YOUR section of heaven?

And why does he show up with his wife and baby girl?

...Then says, "It's good to see you..." with that same look in his eyes he left you with?

WHY DOES THE WIFE SAY, "WHO are YOU?"


Me? I'm just the girl he walked away from because I was "too perfect".


And why were the feelings the same when I thought they had gone...?




How does one handle that? How do you retain your composure and move forward?
I didn't cry (but came close). I didn't yell or scream. I just quietly fell apart, checked out (I am so pissed at myself...) and did my best to walk forward into the dark messy hallway to play my version of 'Alloway Grove'. (Which, it turns out, was "Very much un-pass-off-able"...)


j

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's tough. Some feelings fade with time and some don't...all you can do is make it through the day. Plus that's what music is for :)

Our Fondaco Family said...

Oh...

jonnajonna said...

Yeah...

I'm actually doing really well now, though. It's funny how much it messed with me!!! I KNOW I'm so much better off...it was just hard, you know? I think it would have been different if it were just him (and if I had known about the baby...)

*Thanks!